Chasing Rainbows

I want to say something potent, I want to say something real.  I want to speak some great truth.  But I know there is nothing original about the way I am feeling.

When I dream it is so vivid and full of emotion, but at times in my waking life I have become P.I. to my own emotional state and circumstance.  Trying to figure it all out, and just like the next person trying to make the right move, or more so, sometimes, trying not to make the wrong one!  Trying to feel what I feel, without judgement or censoring from my own mind.

I haven't written my thoughts and adventures here for so long, I wasn't even sure I was going to.  So I really haven't kept you up-to-date, on my journey 'chasing rainbows'- and so, so much has happened in these months...

Firstly at some point along the way I decided that the name of this blog is misleading as it implies that I am chasing rainbows which are not tangible.  My dreams which is that which I have been chasing certainly are!

I have titled these words 'Catching Rainbows' as this year I really have felt myself achieving my goals and living my dreams- and then some!  And I have been SO happy doing so.  A pressing question whilst living 'this life' tho is- "is this real???"  Allot of people here don't believe it is and that when you leave this confined existence that becomes your true home and all you know, it all just crumbles around you and you are left with skills not required to cope in the 'real' world.  It has become apparent to me that this world is most certainly real.  Maybe more real than anything anyone living 'out there', in a community on land, has ever been lucky enough to experience.

Reality doesn't get any more vivid than some of the moments we experience here.  "This" is what life and living are about.  It is not up to me, or you, to change the world.  But to experience it.  Make it a lil better maybe.  Not make it any worse, definitely.  Make it a lil easier and allot brighter, I can only hope to.

I'm not really sure where I want to go with all of this it was just time to share.

Here are some lyrics from one of our shows here, that ring so true to me no matter how often I hear them.  And I hear them minimally twice a night twice a week! 

When I think of home

I think of a place where there's love overflowing

I wish I was home

I wish I was back there with the things I been knowing

Wind that makes the tall trees bend into leaning

Suddenly the snowflakes that fall have a meaning

Sprinklin' the scene, makes it all clean

Maybe there's a chance for me to go back there

Now that I have some direction

It would sure be nice to be back home

Where there's love and affection

And just maybe I can convince time to slow up

Giving me enough time in my life to grow up

Time be my friend, let me start again

Suddenly my world has changed it's face

But I still know where I'm going

I have had my mind spun around in space

And yet I've watched it growing

If you're list'ning God

Please don't make it hard to know

If we should believe in the things that we see

Tell us, should we run away

Should we try and stay

Or would it be better just to let things be?

Living here, in this brand new world

Might be a fantasy

But it taught me to love

So it's real, so real to me

And I've learned

That we must look inside our hearts

To find a world full of love

Like yours

Like mine

Like home...

Somewhere over the Rainbow...

Much love & best wishes to anyone that reads this!

May this be the end of a chapter, and the beginning of a new one...  I have my pot of gold- I had it all along, now I am just enjoying the blessings it bestows me.  

May you find yours. xxx